5:16 Club -- Day 20, Almost There Now

I'm almost at my goal of posting for the first 30 days of this 5 whatever club journey. It feels good, but I am ready for it to be over -- not the getting up early part but the posting about it. It is fun for me to reflect on each morning's experience, but I would also like the extra 15 minutes to do some reading, personal writing, or exercising.

On the other hand, I hope these regular postings encourages you to take this journey, and for that reason I don't want to stop doing it. I also know that sharing these early morning thoughts is something that I'll treasure in the future as they become a stone of remembrance -- a marker that delineates a before an after -- as well as an example to me that the process of change will have it ups and downs. I want to read over these posts in the future in order to remind myself that there will be good days and bad days and emotional highs and lows in every new experience, but that it is possible to stay the course through God's grace. It is good to see my perseverance and God's sustenance, as it propels me further along in the journey.

This morning, I finished reading Psalm 119, continuing to circle all the references to God's Word and law. I flipped open my new ESV Study Bible to glean more information about the Psalm, learning that my thoughts from yesterday were on track in regards to the content and how the literary structure adds to the meaning...

This pattern severely limits the author's liberty in sustaining his flow of thoughts, but this does not hinder the psalm from accomplishing its goals, which is to enable God's people to admire His Word so strongly that they will work and pray hard to have it shape their character and conduct. The cumulative impact of the Psalm is huge.

The words of this psalm can enable Christians to embrace its aspiration, both when they sing it and when they use these words as prayers for illumination as they attend to God's word in public and in private.

Again, I'm reminded that the power of God's word is rich and foundational to our lives as Christians. Without knowing the Word, we can hardly say we know God. Yes, we can see Him in creation and feel Him in our Spirit, but how well do we really know Him apart from knowing the Scriptures? I thank God for providing the Bible in such easy access for us, Americans. We must not take it for granted, but instead soak it in and share it with others around this world.

I'm overwhelmed by how this morning time and reading my Bible is about so much more than being disciplined and religious. It is about time with my Father. I need Him. He is all I have, not only filling the void my earthly father has vacated, but also filling the hole in my heart that needs to be satisfied by His love, guidance, and affirmation. This made total sense to me this morning, as I read,

I rise before the dawn and cry out for help; I have put my hope in your word. Psalm 119:147

That is the truth. I am up before the dawn. Why? Because I was a mess, am still a mess, and need this time to cry out for help. I have more problems facing me in a given day than I care to share about, and rarely a soul that has that answer. Yes, I have a supportive husband and friends and extended family, but they can't answer the cry of my heart. They can't give me the joy, the hope, the strength I need to handle all the needs before me. They can't reconcile my sin and clean the slate after my repentance. Only God can do all these things, which is what drives me to the cross again and again. I need God. And I need a daily portion of His Word in order to hear His clear voice, instruction, encouragement, forgiveness, grace, and focus on my day ahead.

Lord, I cry out to you again before the dawn. I need you today. I need your healing touch on my heart and my body. I need your eternal perspective as I live in this world. I need your Father perspective as I raise our children. I need your portion of love so that I may love my husband as you have designed. I need you. Thank you for fulfilling your promises. Thank you for loving us with an everlasting love, being full in mercy and never-ending compassion. Thank you. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Because of Him,