Real World Parents

Parenting is tough stuff.  You think when you first start out that it must be the hardest stage, sleep deprived and uncertain of how to meet the needs of your precious child.  But then, just as you start to get more sleep and feel like you might have an idea of what you are doing, the next stage hits.  Now you have a toddler exerting her independence, followed by a young person expressing her opinion in word and deed.  Things settle a bit until puberty and hormones and teenage angst rolls in. 

The truth of the matter is that parenting stretches our hearts and minds in directions in ways we never imagined, and in places we never conceived existing.  For many, we turn to books and friends for wisdom, even Godly wisdom, and sometimes we find exactly what we need to help us cope through the next stage.  More often than not, however, we come up guilt-ridden and discouraged.  Textbook examples will never completely fit our real lives.

Real World Parents: Christian Parenting for Families Living in the Real World is indeed another parenting book, but it takes a decidedly non-method approach.  The irony is that any book on parenting must have some methodical approach under girding its purpose.  This one is simply in contrast to those filled with structure and agenda, driving at the spirit of parenting instead of the routine.

The author, Mark Matlock writes,

“When my kids came along, though, and I started making my way through all the different kinds of parenting books, I noticed that a lot of them focused on helping me raise well-behaved, well-mannered kids.  And while that’s an important element, there wasn’t much focus on raising kids to have hearts that seek after Christ.  Of course, we can’t force that kind of spiritual openness and connectedness with God onto our kids--but in our Real World homes, we can create environments that promote such growth.” p. 13

I agree with Matlock.  Too much of our parenting focuses on the outcome instead of the heart.  We excuse bad behavior because they are just too cute.  I was in my favorite coffee place recently, only to face the potential disaster one couple will have on their hands in a few years time.  This very snazzy attractive mom and dad were busy socializing with their friends, playing on their iPhones while their one-year-old toddled around the place removing and restocking every package of coffee and related equipment.  Eventually, the dad casually got up and wandered over to her with a joking comment about her cuteness.  Meanwhile, another customer had to weave around the obstacle she made on the floor.  Not only is it dangerous to be so cute that your parents forsake parenting -- it is unfair to give this child a sense of such independence and disrespect for other’s property at the age of one.  These seemingly innocent parents are guilty of forsaking their God-given responsibility to train up her behavior as well as her heart.  And there are plenty of parents that have lost sight -- or never been exposed to -- the reality of our responsibility to train up our kids!

I must say, Ted Tripp in Shepherding a Child's Heart, does a fantastic job of connecting a parent’s desire to train up the right behavior partnered with ministering to heart.  If you have children under age five, I highly HIGHLY highly recommend purchasing and investing time in reading, praying, and discussing Tripp’s methods for parenting.  It has been an invaluable resource, enabling my husband and me to connect Scripture with why we do what we do as parents. 

I would also recommend Real World Parents as an equally valuable resource, especially for parents looking for the next step of encouragement in shepherding their older (five and up) children, or for a starting place for those needing a new direction in their parenting style.  Real World is such an easy read, you can nearly skim the whole book and get a gist of what Matlock is communicating, only making you want to go back for more in-depth consideration.  The questions at the end of chapter make for a perfect date night discussion with your husband, and will likely spur you both on to better parenting.

Of course, a book on parenting is only second best to the Word, itself.  Truly, if we spend time in the Scriptures, seeking to apply the Wisdom of the Lord in our lives by the power of the Holy Spirit at work in us, we are more than equipped to face the challenges  all parents experience and to train up our children in the way they should go -- His way.

By His Grace & Mighty Power,

*Real Word Parents was offered for review by Zondervan Publishers.