Becoming Titus 2: How do we train the younger women to love their children?

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Titus 2:3-5 NIV

³Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. ⁴Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

As you know, in my mission to live intentionally in 2010, I have focused on studying a very short but powerful passage, Titus 2:3-5.  I think the greatest blessing has been the accountability of looking at the same verses every month, and focusing on just a little portion. The weeks in between study have been like mortar between each brick, creating a solid wall of understanding and life application.

This month, I hope you will join me, even if it is for the first time, as we pause to look at how to train up younger women to love their children. 
 

^"Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children..."

Somewhere between here and there of time I became the older woman, supposedly filled with wisdom on how to love our husbands and children.  While I don't feel older or wiser, I can see that by the passing of time and experience, I have grown in such a way that I am beginning to grasp how to love our children, even if the application of it falls short.  I also can see that how I mother has an impact on those around me, as there are now as many younger moms in my community of friends as there are older.  I'm in the middle of the pack, and while I have so, so, so much to learn, I have certainly learned a thing or two over the past decade of mothering my own little brood as well as spiritually mothering teenagers.

Here's my top five life-learned, heart-wrenched, spirit-convicted thoughts about how to make the time and purpose of our motherhood all about loving our children.  As I strive to live out these principles, in my pursuit of Becoming a Titus 2 woman, I prayer that God will use me to impacting the next generation of mothers.

1.  Slow down.
Love requires intentionally and time.  If we are too hurried to get to the next thing and to determined to accomplish "this" thing (the this being anything other than mothering), we won't be able to love with a sincere touch, a gentle word, a encouraging smile, and a simple act of service.  We must slow down to make time to love practically.

2.  Receive God's love.
It is impossible to love, in the way God is calling us to in this verse, without receiving His love.  Love comes from God (1 John 4:7).  He is love and His love flowing through causes us to overflow with love to those around us, especially our children.  Many of us, however, have blocked the channel of God's love with unforgiveness, bitterness, and sin stored up in our hearts.  We must take an inventory to see what is filling us up and overflowing onto those around us.  Is it our shame, guilt, frustrations, low-self esteem, pride, anxiety, fear, bitterness?  Or are walking in right fellowship with God, having received His forgiveness through Jesus Christ and received a full cleansing of our souls as we believe His Word for our identity and calling? 
 3.  Rest in His presence.
It is essential to spend time with the Lord and in His Word, if our relationship with God is going to grow and sustain us.  We cannot love when we are depleted.  Even if our heart is right in fellowship with the Lord, we must be nurtured by time with Him.  Literally, we need to rest in the arms of our Father, in devotional time as well as physical time.  Moms need naps and early bedtimes to keep their energy level full enough to meet the physical and emotional needs of their children.  A well-rested mom, satisfied by the love and tender care of her Lord, will be equipped to nurture that end of the day boo-boo, listen to that one more heartache of in her maturing daughter, and respond to the sibling conflict over the space, toy, time, and daily needs of life.  A mother who is rested in the presence of God is equipped to love the children in her life.

4.  Let go of the next moment and cherish this one.
Part of the reason we can't slow down, receive God's love, and rest in His presence is that we are too busy rushing to the next moment.  For some of us, it is simply getting the next box unpacked, picking up the groceries for the pot-luck that evening, or checking off the long list of spring cleaning chores.  For others, it is a career goal or ministry achievement in the form of one more speaking engagement, another follower, a new title, a wider recognition. And for some, who seem super dedicated to their family and home, it is about perfecting the material thing or even seeking a better way to get their child to excel further in their sport, instrument, or academics -- so much so that it is no longer about loving the child or keeping the home, but has become an idol.

All of us, if we are honest before the Lord, would uncover some way we are holding onto the next moment, achievement, and goal instead of living in the here and now.  The result is we are too busy and too focused to slow down and love the one right before us.  That tender little heart is being shaped by our very actions even more than our words.

If we are to fulfill the call to love our children -- and to train those around us to do the same -- we must let go of the next moment and live in this one.  It means stopping to look into the eye of the child petition for our attention and love.  To cuddle with a child whose love language is touch, and let the laundry wait until tomorrow.  To put a smile on, instead of grumbling, about the chocolate ice cream running down the face of a delighted toddler, soon to stain the front of her shirt.  One day, that ice cream will be ably consumed and we will, indeed, miss the tiny, chocolate stained shirts.
 

5.  Walk humbly and receive His grace quickly.
These principles are impossible to achieve perfectly.  Some days, we'll block God's love.  Other days, we won't rest.  Some moments, we'll rush through and others we'll pause at just the right moment.  So, since we are imperfect sinners saved by grace, the best thing we can do as we strive to love our children and impart God's love on their tender souls, is to be humble before them and the Lord, while also being quick to receive God's extravagant grace and extend that to our children.  It means putting off condemnation, right there in the middle of the mess we have made.  Then, swallowing pride in order to confess, "I'm sorry.  Will you forgive me?"  It may not be a pretty scene at first, but God will color it with His love, most certainly.


What ways do you believe women should live out this portion of Titus 2?

I pray you will join me in this open discussion, so that together we would grow together in the Word as we become Titus 2 women.  Please do leave a comment with your thoughts and/or a link to your Titus 2 post.  There is no time frame for sharing, so feel free to do so at any time.  I look forward to hearing from you!

By His Grace & Mighty Power,

Be sure to join in previous discussions and mark your calendar for our upcoming topics.  Feel free to join in anytime!

1. Jan ~ Beliefs about Titus 2 in Today's Culture
2. Feb ~ What does it mean to be reverent?
3. Mar ~ What does it mean to be slanderers and addicted (to too much wine)?
4. Apr ~ How do we teach what is good?
5. May ~ How do we train the younger women? Who are the younger women?
   
6. Jun ~ How do we train the younger women to love their husbands?
7. Jul ~ How do we train the younger women to love their children?
8. Aug ~ How do we learn to be self-controlled and pure?
9. Sep ~ What does it mean to be busy at home?
10. Oct ~ What does it mean to be kind?
11. Nov ~ What does it mean to be subject to our husband?
12. Dec ~ How does becoming a Titus 2 woman cause the Word of God to not be maligned?