Becoming Titus 2: How Do We Learn to Be Self-Controlled & Pure?

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Titus 2:3-5 NIV

³Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. ⁴Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

How are you doing in your Becoming Titus 2 journey?  To be honest, I feel like I'm a bit alone in this, so feel free to let me know you are out there, even if you aren't posting about it at your blog.  Just leave a comment and share your thoughts or simply give a shout out.  God has made us one for another, so encourage us by sharing if you long to become a Titus 2 woman.

For me, this Becoming Titus 2 journey has had a significant impact on my life.  I find it has become the guiding influence on my role as mother, wife, and mentor.  No longer are the people in my life simple co-existing humans.  No!  My husband is the man I am to love, and by example, equip my own daughters to love their future husbands.  My children are not simply be taken care of, but rather to be trained up in the ways of the Lord and equipped to go out into the world to share the Gospel by word and example.


Thinking in a Titus 2 mindset gives purpose to the everyday tasks of life as well as the focus of every relationship.  It is a rich passage, deep with meaning and application!  

Today, we look at one small portion, which has tremendous impact on all Christian women.  If we are going to counter the culture and live godly lives, this small snippet of Scripture may very well carry the deepest challenge over all the other instructions in this passage.


What exactly does the Lord mean when He calls us to be self-controlled and pure?

Let's find out from the Word!    

Self-control, or sophron,  means exactly what most of us would assume: "[to be] discreet, sober, temperate, of sound mind; self-disciplined in one's freedom; self-restrained in all passions and desires." It also means, in this context, "to teach to be discreet."  Yes, the Titus 2 role is not only about being, but it is about teaching!

Pure, or hagnos, means "chaste, uncontaminated, having integrity.  Expresses freedom from defilements or impurities; morally chastes, sexually pure, virginal; figuartively:  of spiritual purity, unseduced by false doctrines (as in 2 Corinthians 11:2)." In addition, it also means, "literally:  of the sexual fidelity of wives (Titus 2:5, coupled with sophron [self-control]), level-headed, having a sense of restrains, it means the absence of flirtatiousness and sensual demeanor).

Being self-controlled and pure has tremendous implications.  

We are to be discreet, sober, temperate, of sound mind.

If this is true, are we discreet in our words, dress, behavior?  Are we having a little too much fun during a happy hour, pushing the limits and compromising our sober state?  Are we responding emotionally to every challenge, need, and behavior, or is our reaction temperate?  Moreover, are we of sound mind, thinking in a level-headed, non-emotional way?  Maybe this is a challenge to deal with our heart issues to enable us to function with a sound mind rather than out of the wounds within our soul.

self-disciplined in one's freedom

In other words, everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.  How are we using our freedom?  In how we spend our time, money, efforts thoughts?  Are we applying self-discipline to our schedules, spending, and relationships?

self-restrained in all passions and desires

Oh, this is a biggy.  We live in a culture that thrives on instant gratification.  Have we become more indoctrinated by this philosophy than by the truth of Scripture?  Take a moment to look at your life.  Are you ever self-restrained?  Do you need to become self-restrained in your passions and desires...for food, home accents, hobby tools, blog time, people, and your secret lust.  Friend, counter the culture.  Restrain yourself!  Exert some self-control!

chaste, uncontaminated, having integrity

What goes in will come out!  What is filling your mind?  What do watch on TV?  Listen to on the radio?  Read for pleasure?  A godly woman must filter what she fills her mind with. Become a woman of integrity by living a uncontaminated life.  It doesn't mean you have to close yourself off from the world, but you don't have to let it into your heart, mind, or home!

Expresses freedom from defilements or impurities

Freedom!  The filtering out of defilements and impurities is an act of a free woman who is not enslaved by her passions and desires; not held captive by the things of this world.  Become enslaved only to the Lord Jesus Christ and held captive by His love for you!

sexually pure, virginal

For many of us, we entered our marriages sexually impure, forsaking our virginity in an impulsive, rebellious, or ignorant moment.  But God is forgiving, gracious, loving, and redemptive.  We can be godly women with sexually purity within our marriages, when we have been forgiven by the Lord for our sin and seek daily to keep ourselves sexually pure now. 

What does this mean, as a wife?  It means setting yourself apart as a gift for your husband to open daily.  You, his precious bride, prepared to unite with your groom, expressing delight for the precious gift of marriage and the ability to demonstrate your love in this most intimate way.  Make time to be rested and ready for this union. Make it a priority, as would a new bride eager for her groom.

spiritual purity, unseduced by false doctrines 

False doctrines abound, and most don't even know it.  I think that most women are hopefully looking for the "Christian" theology in every talk-show and new best-seller.  But a hint of a God-message doesn't equal sound theology.  Be discerning my sister.  If it isn't the whole of Scripture being preached, it isn't the truth of Scripture.  Turn of the TV, walk away from the flashy new book cover promising healing and health and prosperity.  Invest your time and dollars in a pretty Bible, and read the Word to keep your spirit pure!

having the sexual fidelity of a wife

One man.  One woman.  Simple.  That is how God intended it from the beginning of time.  He never said that we could pick another spouse when we become bored, dissatisfied, frustrated, or hurt. 

God calls married, godly women to live as faithful wives.  Therefore, put off any idea that someone else would fill the husband shoes any better than yours.  Quit the emotional affair with your best friend's husband.  Get rid of the old beau on your facebook account.  Stop it.  Just quit it!  Be sexually and emotional pure in your marriage, without compromise!

level-headed, having a sense of restraint

Because we didn't get this right the first time, the Lord communicates it again.  Restrain yourself, my friend.  God gave us freedom, but we must restrain ourselves!

the absence of flirtatiousness and sensual demeanor

Ah, the great debate of females, using this argument, "But if she is going to act and dress that way, I must do also in order to be the one my husband notices."  Listen, if your man is satisfied with you as his wife -- if you are expressing your love and respect for him sexually, emotionally, and in your behavior and attitude, in general -- he won't want another package.  If he does, he needs to get help, ASAP!  All you accomplish by acting flirtatious with other men, and dressing or acting in a sensual way in public, is to cause other men -- married, single, young, old -- to stumble.  You are not showing any respect for your brothers in Christ, or the sisters they are married to.  Flirt with your husband, in a private and intimate way. Be sensual in his presence, but not in public.

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Isn't this a richly packed portion of Scripture!!!  Likely, it has challenged your understanding of what it means to be self-controlled and pure!  I pray that if it has rubbed you the wrong way, that you would take time to seek the Lord for further understanding.  Please, sister, consider that your thinking has been influenced more by the culture than by the Word.  God is clear on our behavior.  You are the one, however, that has the freedom to act on it!

Remember the reason for this instruction in Titus in the first place, "so that no one will malign the Word of God."  The Lord wants His Gospel shared.  We, as women, carry it from person to person in what we say and do.  May we live God's way, even if it is the harder way, for His glory!

Be sure to soak in our previous discussions and come on back for future ones!

1. Jan ~ Beliefs about Titus 2 in Today's Culture
2. Feb ~ What does it mean to be reverent?
3. Mar ~ What does it mean to be slanderers and addicted (to too much wine)?
4. Apr ~ How do we teach what is good?
5. May ~ How do we train the younger women?  Who are the younger women?
6. Jun ~  How do we train the younger women to love their husbands?
7. Jul  ~  How do we train the younger women to love their children?
8. Aug ~ How do we learn to be self-controlled and pure?
9. Sep ~ What does it mean to be busy at home?
10. Oct ~ What does it mean to be kind?
11. Nov ~ What does it mean to be subject to our husband?
12. Dec ~ How does becoming a Titus 2 woman cause the Word of God to not be maligned?

Be sure to leave a comment and a link to your post!  We all want to hear your thoughts, too!

By His Grace & Mighty Power,